Camp Dates

4 Factors Driving Crisis for Girls: Sexual Identity, The Cyberbubble, Obsessions, Environmental Toxins

Dr. Leonard Sax has recently produced two excellent books on raising children in this digital, often disconnected age.  He published Boys Adrift in 2009 and Girls On The Edge in 2010.  Both look at many of the cultural and societal influences impacting our youth today and how we as parents, youth development professionals, and educators can help kids navigate these increasingly complex, fast, and often challenging situations before they become “crises” for our families and communities.

A similarity between both books is the recognition that some of the “new crisis” that arises for both boys and girls in this new age is the lack of an authentic self.  This is especially important for us as camp professionals because we are attempting, in everything we do, to help kids define their sense of self.  Yet how do we do that and do it effectively?

How many kids see the sunrise while climbing a mountain?

All of the campers who come to camp are “amazing” in their own right.  Yet, as we move closer and closer to college admission letters being sent, we realize, “…being amazing doesn’t feel like enough these days when you’re competing with all the other amazing (individuals) around the country who are applying to the same elite colleges that you have been encouraged to aspire to practically all your life…There is something about the lives they lead–their jam-packed schedules, the amped-up multitasking, the focus on a narrow group of the nation’s most selective colleges–that speaks of a profound anxiety.” (from The New York Times For Girls, It’s Be Yourself, and Be Perfect Too)

Where does this anxiety come from?  It comes from what Sax calls “anorexia of the soul.”  Defining oneself has never been an easy task, yet the sheer pace and connected-disconnectedness of our transient, global, fame and consumer driven world has left our kids without a basic understanding of who they are and what is important to them.

...and the band played on.

Simple questions like “What do you like to do for fun?” or “What three words describe you?” or “Describe yourself in four sentences or less” can give parents, educators, and camp professionals a sense of how connected kids are with their authentic selves.  Answers will, of course, vary–but an answer of “I’m tall. I”m thin. I’m really smart. And I hate sushi.” is fine for an 8 year old–but at 17, 19, or 22, an answer like that is superficial…and all of us can be (and should be) multidimensional at those ages.

Sax believes as kids move from “childhood to adolescence, the answer to “Tell me about yourself” should evolve from concrete descriptors to more abstract ideas about what they want, and how they see themselves now compared with their past and their future.”

Singing Songs: Song Leading To Leadership Development

Camp helps children define their authentic sense of self because they are removed, in many cases, from the increasingly complex and technologically dependent social lives they lead.  Rather than spending hours uploading photos, commenting on other photos, or simply waiting breathlessly for the next text–tweens and teens can focus on a smaller community, in-person conflict resolution, and acquisition of life skills that are both empowering and powerful.

And, more than anything, they can explore genuine connections between themselves and other people–connections that will help them further define who they are and what they want out of their own lives.

Sharing YOUR authentic self

It is these experiences that will allow them to write compelling, authentic, personal essays for future college applications.   These experiences will allow them to be able to stand up to bullying in their schools.  These experiences will give them room to be creative, innovative, visionary and to gain and apply wisdom.  These experiences will help shape their development into the happy, healthy, and successful adults we want them all to become–not the anxious, distracted, bullying and depressed children we seem to read about in the paper or see on Dr. Phil so often these days.

Sometimes it is hard to help children learn how to define their own sense of self because the adults around them lack authentic selves.  Challenge yourself, your friends, members of your family and your camp staff to define what you each believe and value.  Visit This I Believe to read other personal belief essays, and to learn how to more effectively define your own set of beliefs.

Then, instead of uploading the essay into cyberspace, share who you are and what you have learned with your children, students, friends, family and campers.    Because, as e.e. cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are”…and to share that person and wisdom with the next generation.