Posts Tagged ‘persistance in kids’

How Can I Promote Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy in My Children?

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Proud Mountain Fisherman

What is the difference between self-esteem and self-efficacy? Self-efficacy, or empowerment, is the belief in one’s self. Children with skills of empowerment believe that they are effective in the world and have learned their strengths and weaknesses. Self-esteem is inexorably linked to self-efficacy…but our culture and society tends to promote “strong self-esteem” as a goal on its own, forgetting that in order to “feel good” about yourself, you have to “believe” in yourself and your abilities.

In our schools and families, we are quick to say, “I am so proud of you for completing your class project”—terrific words of encouragement, shared in order to promote good self-esteem—yet we should ask ourselves what we are really saying. By saying “I” or “We” we are owning the accomplishment ourselves, and not giving full credit to the child. Better to say, “How do you feel about what you accomplished?” Then the child can say, “I really worked hard to get my class project done on time, and I feel really good that I was able to help Emily with her project, too.” To which, as a teacher or parent, we can add, “You did show a great deal of dedication to accomplish the project, and you were also very generous with your time and demonstrated great teamwork and creativity when you helped Emily.”

When we perceive we don’t have time to promote self-efficacy in our children, or we think a broad blanket of esteem-enriching encouragement will suffice, we are doing our children a significant disservice. Rather than developing necessary resilience on their own, they will fall into a pattern of seeking their sense of self from outside sources. In a recent study, it was shown that kids who were distinctly told they were “hard workers” tended to be more persistent when they approached challenging tasks or new situations. Children who had been told they were “very smart” tended to become more easily frustrated or more readily quit the challenging task that was placed before them.

As parents, teachers, and youth development professionals, the staff at Sanborn Western Camps know and understand the importance of teaching empowerment and providing children with opportunities to build their own self-efficacy. By giving campers choice with their trip and activity selection, challenging them physically on mountain climbs and horseback rides, allowing them to find and define their voices and attitudes away from their home peer group, spending reflective time in the natural world, and providing them with multiple supportive adults in a tight-knit community, our campers develop internal motivation and satisfaction from their everyday accomplishments—a skill they will continue to use for the rest of their lives.

What other activities besides summer camp do you think promote self-efficacy in kids?

Mountain climbing in Colorado